My new state

seems to be getting openly fangirly about everything I like (I think maybe tumblr has had some influence on me) and being openly excited, like jumping up and down and saying ‘yaaaay’ (not in real life, on the internet, I don’t have a real life, obv.) because I already lost all the friends that could be shaken off by me being myself and I am a mid-twenties person, I’m not a teenager, I’m sick of everyone being all cool about everything. I’m sick of sending messages to punk or indie dickheads, begging for pointless gigs because we need to have visibility on certain ‘scenes’ and acting like it’s not a big deal when those messages get totally ignored (sometimes by dudes I put on gigs for in the past). 

I don’t want to pretend I like all those male-fronted punk bands just to not seem like a ‘feminazi’; they sing in stupid put-on voices and all their fans are fist-pumping dudes who act like every girl they aren’t attracted to doesn’t exist. 

I wanna get excited about all the amazing female artists I know and promote them as the best fucking thing that has ever been rather than as an ‘alternative’ or pretend I am ‘gender-blind’. Because women are treated so badly in punk and indie and then we’re supposed to act like we don’t notice when every line-up is dominated by men. 

And I don’t need friends to do any of this.