17 things i’ve learned from watching america’s next top model

lauragpie:

1. you can’t be a model if you’re fat…unless you’re a certain kind of ‘fat’ (i.e. size 10. i.e. not even fat) then you can be a plus-size model.

2. you can’t be a model if you’re too skinny. if you’re too skinny then tyra will tell you to eat an avocado and kick you off the show.

3. there exists a size between ‘normal’ and ‘plus size’. it’s like size-limbo — not skinny enough to be a ‘regular’ model and too skinny to be a ‘plus-size’ model. if you slip into this size during filming, tyra will say you’ve gone ‘pear-shaped’ and kick you off the show.

3. models must be passive. if you’re in pain during a photoshoot, you must push through that pain in order to get a good shot. shivering from the cold water you’re shooting in? push through the pain for the greater good (ie fashion!)

4. models must be assertive. if you’re in pain during a photoshoot, it is your job to know when to stop the shoot and seek medical attention. develop hypothermia from that cold water you were shooting in? your own fault for not knowing when to say when. you shouldn’t have tried to push through the pain.

5. models can’t be shy. shy people have no personality.

6. models can’t be too loud. loud people have too much personality.

7. women of colour must present themselves with a certain level of ‘whiteness’. acting too ‘ethnic’ is not professional.

8. models of colour must not act too white. they are a disgrace to their race.

9. black women are angry and irrational.

10. women of colour are around for my amusement and should not be taken seriously.

11. ‘women of colour’ and ‘ghetto’ are synonyms

12. african-american vernacular is NOT a valid dialect/ethnolect/sociolect and needs to be corrected.

13. violence against women is a form of high fashion.

14. cultural appropriation is okay when you’re trying to sell something.

15. be it hair or teeth or skin. or weight or height or proportion: there is something physically wrong with each of us.

16. women are natural enemies. put them in a room alone together and they will fuckin’ fight. helllllooooooo, drama!

17. i need to find me some better tv to watch.

omg u think America’s next top model is bad, try watching Australia’s next top model. They use the word ‘expensive’ as praise ‘omg darling you look expensive’. As opposed to cheap I suppose. They had one single black girl in the last competition but she went out pretty early following either completely fading into the background or receiving criticisms like her look is ‘too specialist’ or ‘not versatile enough’ because obviously they would only need her if they wanted some tokenistic ethnic model. And there was a girl who was really badly underweight and they said she could only go through if she started eating, she clearly didn’t gain any weight, in fact I think she lost weight and they never mentioned it again because they actually loved those fragile ankles and visible ribs because they look ‘expensive’.