“Of course you want to do right by other people, but there’s a certain point where you just have to work on yourself.” - Mariel Loveland of Candy Hearts, interviewed by Andy Waterfield

ilivesweat:

(Photo by Stephen Yang)

Hi, Mariel. For those who aren’t familiar with Candy Hearts, could you catch them up with who you are, and what each of you does?

Candy Hearts is, well, we’re a band obviously. I play guitar and sing, Kris Hayes plays better guitar, Christian Migliorese plays bass and Christina Picciano plays drums. Basically, everyone has their role in the band. I’m the songwriter and overly obsessive van driver (I drove no more than 5 above the speed limit all the way to Georgia); Christina is the “I get stuff done” kind of person and always speaks first when something seems not right or annoying; Kris is the tour dad and the kind of guy who always manages to have packed the stuff I would have left somewhere at a venue in the middle of no where; and Christian’s like that teenage little brother who gets into trouble sometimes but always has an interesting story.

Sounds like a pretty solid dynamic. Do you find that having that mix of temperaments and personalities helps keep things interesting?

I wouldn’t say it keeps things interesting, but it definitely keeps me sane. I can’t speak for the band, but I do know that whenever I have something I want to gossip or complain about, Christina always has my back and when it comes to being nervous and unable to handle whatever a situation might be, Kris is like the ultimate motivational speaker/life coach. Christian is like the perfect person to talk to about boys if only because he feeds me what I want to hear when I want to hear something I want to hear and lays down the truth when it’s really important. Basically, they’re some of the 3 people I feel like I can be not so pleasant around and they wouldn’t really take issue with it. I can be angry, mean or upset and if we argue, 20 minutes later it’s like nothing happened.

That sounds like a useful set of relationships when you’ve got to spend a lot of time in close proximity with one another. What’s your touring schedule been like this past year? Have you got much coming up?

Well, we toured in August down the east coast. We’re playing an unofficial CMJ show in a couple of a days in New York that we’re super excited about. In November we are playing some shows around the Boston area. It’s been kind of hard lately because pretty much the minute our record came out, our van broke. We’re hoping to have it settled by November so we can tour. Then we’ll likely go out in the spring or as soon as the ice and snow and winter driving hazards have calmed down.

Your current full length, Everyone’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy, is also your first through Kind of Like Records. How did you come to be involved with them, and how has it differed from your debut album, Ripped Up Jeans and Silly Dreams?

Actually, it was kind of strange how it came about. Our old bassist, Greg, who contributed a lot to this record, left to pursue his other band These Animals (they’re like cool vintagey indie rock) full time. Christian hopped on board because his band had recently broken up. Apparently his band had been talking to Lisa, who runs Kind of Like. Since we were shopping around for labels, he began talking to her and it just felt right. Even if most of my friends encouraged us to go in a different direction, with Kind of Like I didn’t  feel like I was gaining a label — someone to put out our record. I was gaining a best friend, a crucial support system and somewhat of a personal manager/psychologist. She’s just the best! 

The record is a lot different than our first to me. Our first was rushed — totally slapped together. I didn’t have a clear direction when I wrote it, nor did I really feel like any of us had a grasp on the way we wanted the record to sound. I was transitioning from being in a real solo-artist type band to something that was really a joint effort and well, a band. That was loud. On this record I feel like we had more of a cohesive idea of what we wanted and we were able to mesh some of our favorite parts of punk and our favorite parts of folk and alternative in a way that made sense together.

It’s always nice when people say awesome things about Lisa. She’s been a huge help every time I’ve needed to pick her brain about something for I Live Sweat, and she does come off as a lovely person.

The way you talk about it, it sounds like you’ve made a neat body swerve of the whole “difficult second album” cliche, and produced something more cohesive than the debut. Does that sound about right?

Yes that sounds about right, though I should note that every time I’m writing an album it really feels like I’m never going to be able to finish it and is always kind of a struggle. I’m sort of in that right now. It’s not pleasant.

A lot of your lyrics are strikingly honest about emotional vulnerability, or seem to be. Is that level of honesty important to you as a songwriter, and is there a downside at all?

All of my songs are more or less true stories. Sometimes the characters are a combination of different people, which leads those I know who might be listening to get a little confused, but it’s important to me to keep a level of honesty with my audience. When I sing a song that isn’t true for me, I feel like I’m cheating people, like I’m lying to myself. The song seems unimportant and just flat — like I’ve conned my friends into believing I deeply care about something that’s meaningless. I can’t work that way. When I draw from the things that I really feel at the core of me, that’s when I develop songs that I can be really be proud of, as afraid or unafraid as I am to put them out there. I also feel like people will respond to them better. I mean, it might be self-centered to say, but if I feel a certain way, someone else must too right?

That strikes me as being the opposite of self-centred, as it appeals to the idea of a common human experience. Expressing emotion through art has always struck me as a sympathetic impulse, for the most part, but that’s just me.

Beyond music, what kinds of things are you interested in?

I guess you’re kind of right. It depends on how you look at it.

Other than music, I really love writing and watching movies. Particularly horror movies! I also like reading, looking at clothes online that I will never be able to afford and going out with my friends.

I lose about two hours a week to staring at t-shirts I can’t justify buying. First world woes, etc.

Do you have any particular ambitions you want to fulfill, as an individual, and as a band member, in the coming year?

That’s a really hard question because I have a lot of goals both personally and band-wise, obviously everyone does. I want to tour europe, I want to make more money, I want to eat better and get more fit and further my career but I think the most important thing for me is to keep doing what I want to do and not get stuck in the rut of doing things that I don’t want to be doing. Sometimes that happens to me. I also really just want to produce work I can be proud of whether it’s in my songs or my writing.

Pretty sure doing what we want to do on our own terms is the holy grail of punk, eh?

I never really thought of it that way, but I guess your right. This whole “doing what I want” thing sort of came about when I was talking to Christian about being unhappy about something and he was just like stop complaining, don’t worry about it and do what you want. Doing what you want is the key to happiness. I think he might be right about that.

I’d sling in a couple of caveats about trying to do right by other people too, but I think I know what you mean.

Of course you want to do right by other people, but there’s a certain point where you just have to work on yourself. You can try to please everyone in the world, but if you’re not happy, does it matter? Plus, you’ll probably get really frustrated because there are always going to be those people you’ll never be able to please.

Oh, bugger pleasing them. As long as I’ve done the right thing by them and myself, I don’t care whether they like it or not.

You mentioned on Twitter recently that certain external factors affect your songwriting. Could you tell us a little bit about that, what kind of effect different factors have, and how you deal with it?

Man, you’re getting personal! External factors affect my songwriting completely. When I wrote most of “Everything’s Amazing” I was in a relatively alright spot, coming off of a summer filled with friends, travel, love and music (that sounds so cheesy, whatever, but that’s all the stuff I like). Now I’m writing our next endeavor and I don’t feel the same way I used to feel. I’m not driving around in cars with my best friends blasting our favorite songs at 3 a.m., instead I’m in a huge city, going home on the subway alone and exhausted. It’s lonelier, it’s angrier and it’s different. 

I think a lot of the new themes have to do with more adult things that I’m nervous for my grandmother to hear. I felt like a kid when I wrote our last album, but I don’t anymore, and you experience different things when you grow up. Basically a lot of what I write has to do with my inability to tell some people off (or even tell myself off) or just tell other people how I feel in general. At least when I sing it, I can feel better about not being able to say what I want to say.

You mentioned that you’re nervous about your grandmother hearing certain songs. Have you ever self-censored, or considered self-censoring, to avoid upsetting family or friends?

I certainly have not censored at all but I have been putting off showing these songs to people because I havent censored myself.

You certainly seem to be reflective about the process and context around the way your work is created. Do you feel that’s an important quality?

I kind of beat myself up when I’m creating just about anything. Usually that involves thinking a lot about my work or what helps me make it. It seems like it’s probably a good quality, even if it doesn’t feel that way always.

I reckon that about covers what I wanted to talk about. Anything else you’d like to add?

Hmmm. Nope! Oh, wait. If you’re in the US you should catch us on tour with Man Overboard in Feb! That’s all. Thanks, Andy.

No, thank you, Mariel. Always a pleasure.

Candy Hearts are a New York/New Jersey area alternative band. Their sophomore album ‘Everything’s Amazing & Nobody’s Happy’ is out now on Kind of Like Records.

I’m enjoying this album a lot more than the first! I would say that the auto-tune is a bit much, if it were up to me I would have auto-tuned her voice a lot less to preserve its texture and sound less … jarring? Cos she has a pleasant fragility in her voice. 

cool-schmool:

silentpunk:

jtwigg365:

What Punk Rock Taught Me About Masculinity

lionza:

“At the same time, the scene told me a lot about what was considered appropriate male behavior. We were supposed to slam dance, to run wildly into people (all people) without consideration, it was OK to be aggressive in the pit (not doing so was “weak” and or meant I just “couldn’t take it”). Occasional fights were to be expected and nobody saw anything really wrong with it. We (men) should be up front yelling the words, we should be in the bands writing the words, and we should be doing the shows. The punk scene taught me this. It pretty much taught me that it was men running the show (often times, quite literally). Similarly, sharing our feelings and emotions—beyond song lyrics—was generally frowned upon and often mocked as being ‘emo.’”

note: the last sentence reminded me of how so many people mocked folk punk as being for “sissies” in my home town. our folk punk was coincidentally a scene with much more females and more radical values about accepting each other and being considerate (which are considered to be more feminine traits). 

this is a good article, i hadn’t seen it before. always heartening to see a dude talk about this stuff.

“Sadly, conversations on this topic sometimes tend towards the unproductive—and definitely not because of the women who bring up male supremacy and privilege—but because men in the punk scene can’t take responsibility for how their actions reinforce patriarchy and react defensively, dismissively, or simply say “right on” but then keep doing the same thing. Quite plainly, it’s the dudes fault and it always will be until we own up to our actions and how we carry ourselves. Moreover, men need to understand that we can’t just think we got it all figured out, that we’re “anti-sexist” because we’re “political” or because we talk about sexism on a website. Challenging patriarchy is an ongoing process and in needs continuous work and conscious effort.”

Yeah I see this, sadly enough even with nice guys I know who are feminist, all the feminism that happens in theory doesn’t make up for the way you treat us at shows, the showing off to impress the other guys (or what you perceive as impressive to ‘the lads’) has to END FOREVER. It is not worth it and I can spot an arsehole from a mile away by the way they smirk and shout and refuse to lower their louder-than-everyone-else’s voice when they talk all over a band they haven’t heard of (and therefore must be shit and not worthy of their attention) or loudly make their pre-judgement of the band known as they walk onstage before they’ve played a note.

rather a lot of gender essentialism in the comments (if the way men are within patriarchy is how they’re doomed to be forever, I don’t want to live on this planet and that’s not an exaggeration)

Yeah, the whole thing is built on generalisations (if that’s what you mean), it’s not about every man it’s about masculinity as a whole and how it is a dominant force upheld by the male majority at gigs so sometimes I think generalisations are very useful as long as you know they are generalisations and there are exceptions.

As I’ve said in my thoughts about moshing, I know it’s a minority moshing, but it’s the silence of the majority that is the real pain the arse; everyone assuming that one is consenting or ‘one of the guys’ just because one appears male and has no real way of displaying ones rejection of the machismo of the pit without using equally shitty aggressive retalliation. That being said I have no idea about what you are referring to because I haven’t read the comments! And now I don’t want to. :P

jtwigg365:

What Punk Rock Taught Me About Masculinity

lionza:

“At the same time, the scene told me a lot about what was considered appropriate male behavior. We were supposed to slam dance, to run wildly into people (all people) without consideration, it was OK to be aggressive in the pit (not doing so was “weak” and or meant I just “couldn’t take it”). Occasional fights were to be expected and nobody saw anything really wrong with it. We (men) should be up front yelling the words, we should be in the bands writing the words, and we should be doing the shows. The punk scene taught me this. It pretty much taught me that it was men running the show (often times, quite literally). Similarly, sharing our feelings and emotions—beyond song lyrics—was generally frowned upon and often mocked as being ‘emo.’”

note: the last sentence reminded me of how so many people mocked folk punk as being for “sissies” in my home town. our folk punk was coincidentally a scene with much more females and more radical values about accepting each other and being considerate (which are considered to be more feminine traits). 

this is a good article, i hadn’t seen it before. always heartening to see a dude talk about this stuff.

“Sadly, conversations on this topic sometimes tend towards the unproductive—and definitely not because of the women who bring up male supremacy and privilege—but because men in the punk scene can’t take responsibility for how their actions reinforce patriarchy and react defensively, dismissively, or simply say “right on” but then keep doing the same thing. Quite plainly, it’s the dudes fault and it always will be until we own up to our actions and how we carry ourselves. Moreover, men need to understand that we can’t just think we got it all figured out, that we’re “anti-sexist” because we’re “political” or because we talk about sexism on a website. Challenging patriarchy is an ongoing process and in needs continuous work and conscious effort.”

Yeah I see this, sadly enough even with nice guys I know who are feminist, all the feminism that happens in theory doesn’t make up for the way you treat us at shows, the showing off to impress the other guys (or what you perceive as impressive to ‘the lads’) has to END FOREVER. It is not worth it and I can spot an arsehole from a mile away by the way they smirk and shout and refuse to lower their louder-than-everyone-else’s voice when they talk all over a band they haven’t heard of (and therefore must be shit and not worthy of their attention) or loudly make their pre-judgement of the band known as they walk onstage before they’ve played a note.

These UK punk bands who no one has heard of but tour the US, are they just like super-rich? I mean, who could afford that?